Billy Ray Cyrus AKA Hannah Montana's Dad

Hello and welcome to Survival of the Fittest. This is a “blog” in which I study why certain people are better than others through the miracles of natural selection.

Who is the man who spawned one of the most popular kid’s star of all time? This is an American (duh, survive) country music singer who has helped make this genre of music a worldwide phenomenon. This is the man who wrote the iconic song, “Achy Breaky Heart,” an anthem of our nation. His album Some Gave All has sold over twenty million copies. Oh, and did I mention he is a fine actor, starring in some classics such as Radical Jack, The Spy Next Door and The Hannah Montana Chronicles. Come on down Mr. Billy Ray Cyrus, you are this week’s winner.

Mr. Ray Cyrus was born on August 25^th, 1961 in Kentucky (country singer, duh. Survive) to a Ron Cyrus and Ruth Ann Casto. His father was a politician, so I’m not sure whether this Ruth was a mistress, but from my experience, politicians demand that the women in their life have the same last name specifically to avoid nosy-nancies like myself jumping to wild conclusions. His grandfather was a preacher having Mr. Ray Cyrus’ dad play guitar for the worship band. Mr. Ray Cyrus tried to learn how to play guitar on his father’s, but couldn’t do it because he was left handed, while his pop (just a little bit of country slang) was right handed. Then he went to college where sometime in the eighties he got a record deal. Now, according to my credible sources he never actually learned how to play guitar. They’ve skipped right over any of the musical influence most people have. Kurt Cobain followed the older kids around picking up the guitar from here and there. Mr. Chad Kroeger was born with the rock gene in his veins. I.C.P. went to the streets to learn the lingo of rhythm. I don’t think Mr. Ray Cyrus was born with the talent, but I do think he only needed to desire to have the talent for him to obtain it. He uses his brain power to wish he had something and then it just happens. It has got to be genetic because both his children also have this quality. Mind Power!

He then scurried off to Los Angeles (Duh, survive. Check last week’s study to learn more about LA) in attempts of starting a real musical career. All those suits in LA (Land of the Amazing) told Mr. Ray Cyrus that he was too country to make it as a musician in their small, modest town. This confused our study because Nashville had told him he was too rock ‘n’ roll. What’s the deal rec execs! Make up your mind! A lot of normal humans would have given up at this point and moved back home to follow in their father’s footsteps. Only a man qualified for natural selection would have continued on. Mr. Ray Cyrus decided instead of calling it quits he was going to pull out the stops, and he wrote the anthem, “Achy Breaky Heart.”

You don’t know that one? That’s why you’re not a survivor.

He then went on to record a handful (11) more albums that never reached the commercial success of his one hit. But have I told you about what Paul Thomas Anderson said? “Maybe I'll make some clunkers, maybe I'll make some winners, but I guess the way that I really feel is that Magnolia (1999) is, for better or worse, the best movie I'll ever make.” This is kind of how Mr. Ray Cyrus views his career. He may not hit that amazing plateau where “Achy Breaky Hear” sits, but at least he was once there. Some stars get to that point and forget what it was like, so they go on to try and achieve it again. Mr. Ray Cyrus got a look at the big picture and he took that knowledge and put it into his quality to desire and realize.

He acted in some movies and shows. Handsome.

Then he made a prodigy! How many people can say they’ve done that? Not too many, I would imagine. I haven’t done it, I’m just studying these people so I will be one of the select few to make it in the end.

In 1992, Mr. Ray Cyrus welcomed Destiny Hope to the world. No good? He welcomed Miley Cyrus to the world. Still? Hannah Montana. She has created a career almost bigger than her father’s. Why would someone want their child to be better at music and acting, though? That seems mighty foolish, Joe. They wouldn’t want to get picked over because they created a more perfect being. I know, I agree, but here is what is so smart about his strategy. With Miley Mr. Ray Cyrus has covered all his bases. Say the Natural Selection Fairy comes down and says she only has room for one more rock god. Mr. Ray Cyrus and Chad “Here is your nickel back” Kroeger stand side by side. Who is the fairy going to pick? Does it matter? Miley is already on the boat saving a spot for Mr. Ray Cyrus. He birthed her (sort of) and as a thank you she is going to take care of him when his “Achy Breaky Heart” isn’t enough to get him on the boat.

Now, for a words of wisdom from this week’s NS:

“Well, I can't write a song on purpose, my songs come in a moment of inspiration or desperation.”

Oh, Mr. Ray Cyrus. There’s no need to be modest here. We all know the truth.