Kim Kardashian

Hello and welcome to Survival of the Fittest. This is a “blog” in which I study why certain people are better than others through the miracles of natural selection.

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My oh my do we have a busy bee this week. When I read about The Beastie Boys, Quentin Tarantino, P.T. Anderson or Daniel Day-Lewis I wonder why these take their time between projects. They’re so good and they need to share their wealth of talent with the world. Then the smart voice in the back of my head says, but Joe, they put out quality work each time because they decide to take their time with each project. That’s the point, little guy. If they were to pump movie and album out like Meryl Streep or Ryan Reynolds they wouldn’t be known as geniuses. So that makes sense now. Thanks voice. But then I see someone like our study this week and it makes me curse that stupid little voice.

This week we have an American celebutante, socialite, television personality, producer, actress, and model. She also is the daughter of a well-known attorney. She is widely known for a sex tape and being a reality television star. She has also launched multiple fragrances, guest starred on numerous shows and competed on ABC's Dancing with the Stars. What a busy little bee! Please welcome this week’s natural selection, Kimberly Noel Kardashian, or just Kimmy K.

Ms. Kimmy K was born in the only place worth living, Los Angeles, California. I’m continually amazed that so many strong, amazing human beings live in LA. If we all want to live a longer, more fulfilling life we all need to pack our shit and head to the land of stars. Her father was attorney and movie music mogul, Robert Kardashian. This is actually where Kimmy K got her start, at the music marketing firm, Movie Tunes. Maybe you’ve heard of them? If you like movies in the actual theatre, then yes you have because that’s what you’re listening to: Movie Tunes is the playlist that loops before the preshow even starts. You’ll need to get to the theatre an hour early to hear what Kimmy K was born from.

Now! She started acting with bit parts, (although hilarious and stealing each show she guest starred) on different sitcoms such as How I Met Your Mother and 90210: Next Generation or whatever the hell it was called. After award winning roles in both of these shows she was able to start producing and starring in different reality programs. I’m not going to go into the details on these because reality television is for the lesser humans. There isn’t artistic merit to such a program. We all know that Kimmy K just did them so she could continue her $5,500,000 per year income. Once you’re used to a certain lifestyle it is hard to break out of that.

She went on to do some modeling (Playboy), putting out different fragrances (perfume?) and participating in a delicious sex-tape scandal! I’d like to point something out about survival of the fittest. These people don’t make mistakes. They have their whole lives essentially planned out. She released this video herself to help Hugh Hefner recognize her so she could begin her modeling career. Duh. She continues to produce (because there isn’t any shame in producing. This is what the smart people do to take advantage of the dummies) reality programming and invent new smells.

But Joe, but Joe, why is she so much better than the rest of us? I know what you’re thinking. She excels in all the different artistic fields with each of her endeavors, but she isn’t able to stick to a single medium like I.C.P. or Stephanie Meyer. I know I know, and I’ll answer your question with one of my own. Why would you want to be bored in life? Trying to master something is part of the fun. Failing less with each attempt is the whole idea in getting better. Once you’ve made the perfect product there aren’t a whole lot of reasons to keep trying. This is what Kimmy K has done. She has perfected each field she dips into. So now she will continue to be famous (because that isn’t something you master, it’s kind of like a gender) because she is so used to it. She will continue making five million dollars a year and produce reality programming because she enjoys a simple life. She doesn’t want to fail over and over again, cutting her ear off in frustration like some baby. She is, and I know most of you will agree, the perfect specimen. She is the prime example of a human being.

Now for a quick piece of wisdom from this week’s NS:

“I think my sense of style is evolving. I'm figuring out ways to be sexy without having to flaunt it.”

Read between the lines people. She already knows that she is evolving faster than all of us. If a nuclear holocaust occurred there would be three people left afterward: Kimmy K, Ms. Rivers and Gary Busey. There are things we can learn. There are so many things we can learn from these survivors.