Courtney Michelle Harrison AKA Courtney Love

Hello and welcome to Survival of the Fittest. This is a “blog” in which I study why certain people are better than others through the miracles of natural selection

Who is one of the most controversial rock stars of all time? I know, I know, all rock stars are controversial, so that is an unfair question. Like when the Backstreet Boyz came on the scene everyone was like, Whoa fellas, why do you hafta be so danged sexual and they were like, Because we’re young and rebellious and America was like, Oh duh, we (heart) you. No, no, I’m not talking about the Backstreet Boyz here. This is someone who makes them like a boy band.

The selection this week only has one notable award (and that’s pushing it). She was nominated for a Golden Globe for best supporting actress in some boring movie. She was also the front woman for a popular rock band. What she is more known for is dating other famous rock musicians when they need help writing better songs. At the core she is a muse who helps the world hear better music. Come on down Courtney Michelle Harrison, also known as Courtney Love.

At first when I saw her birth name I was astounded at the choice she made in her life. Why would George Harrison’s (of the Beatles. Duh, survive) daughter change her name when she could’ve ridden on the coattails of her famous musician father (Do you hear me, Sean Lennon)? It’s because she wanted to achieve success on her own. She has morals and heart and drive. She’s not in this game of life because she is trying to get an easy ride. Half the fun is trying and failing, because it makes the success an even sweeter honey.

When Love was young her mother left her famous father to be part of a hippie commune in Oregon. I’m not sure if you people know what a commune is, but I went to my credible source and looked up some of the details. Communes in the United States are mainly hippie-based. LSD was what they eat for lunch most days. They share things such as possessions, property and work. Imagine Grapes of Wrath and how they all lived on a farm and survived off the food they grew. That’s kind of like a hippie commune without the drought. And yes, I’m sure there was a sexy stud like Henry Fonda floating around somewhere. It’s the only explanation for Courtney Love’s hunger for sexy men such as Kurt Cobain and Billy Corgan.

Courtney Love busted out of the prison they called a commune and tried to shoplift a shirt (because she was a rock chick from a young age. Duh, survive), but they caught her and she was sent to juvenile hall. My sources are vague at this point, but I’m fairly certain that this is the environment that Love really learned the God-harnessing power of rock. Just like Elvis. She was hooked for life.

Bands were formed and bands fell apart. It’s the life of a rocker who really wants to be in an awesome band. You start meeting people who share common interests and you form unions and see where the music goes and how it changes and that’s the life of a young musician. Courtney Love put her time in and absorbed it all. All of it.

She decided that it wasn’t enough to give the world amazing music from her successful band, Hole. She also needed to embrace the god-given talent of being a muse. She started dating a mister Kurt Cobain in 1991. They wed in 1992 and gave birth to their daughter, Francis Bean, a few months later. Hole’s album, Live Through This sounds a lot like Cobain’s band. There is only one possible explanation. It was the phase Love was going through, a mixture of raw punk mixed with a simple pop twist. She pretty much invented the style where a band goes from quiet verses to rocking choruses.

Cobain saw what Love was doing and felt compelled to write just like it. There was a feeling deep in his stomach that his band needed to sound like his wife’s. He failed, of course, and his band never came close to reaching the success that Hole did. I don’t even remember what his band’s name was. Then he killed himself. There are different theories about the death of Cobain. One is that he didn’t commit suicide at all, but was in fact murdered. And let me tell you, I won’t even go into that theory because it’s asinine. No one hired anyone to kill someone. The most promising theory is that Cobain couldn’t handle his failure to live up to the expectation of being Love’s spouse so he ended it all.

Courtney Love dabbled in different relationships and spread her seed of musedom. Hole’s second most-popular album is titled Celebrity Skin, and it is a goth-rock styled punk.

Then it came out that Love and Billy Corgan were hanging out. I couldn’t believe it. She did it again. A man was so influenced with Love’s influences that he built his band’s sound around it. He basically got popular and famous off a stolen sound.

Love is a survivor because she knows what will make the world love her. She is essentially a queen bee that obtains enough followers for protection. I would kill for Courtney Love, and that is why she is our natural selection. She has an army of worker bees to make her life better and safer. Her brains have mixed with her talents and mixed with her sex appeal and she has created a perfect storm of wonderment.

Now for a quick word of wisdom from our NS:

“But I always wound up being the damn John, when I wanted to be the Paul.”

Some people say John was the most talented Beatle, but it’s hard being the best sometimes.

[Ed. note: George Harrison is not actually Ms. Love's biological father. Her real father is a man named Hank Harrison, a publisher. He is the author of a trilogy of Grateful Dead biographies and a book about Courtney Love being the mastermind behind Kurt Cobain's death.]