Stephenie Meyer

Hello ladies and gents. It’s been awhile since my last study, and for that I apologize. I’ve been deep in the wildness of the world and finding more and more people who deserve to be praised. Welcome to the sixth installment of Natural Selection. This is a study of people who survive because they are the fittest. It may be due to brainpower or physical strength, but ultimately they have outlived a lot of people.

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Some animals survive because they are fast. They can speed along the raceways of life and devour the food they need to continue living. Some animals are strong. They manhandle the life out of weaker animals for the food they need. Some animals are clever. There is a certain spider that hides under a trapdoor, only to spring out and kill for the food it needs. Then there are the more intelligent animals. The ones who invented guns and poison. And then the minority of these animals, who found better ways to use guns and poison. They are able to unlock their mind power by using words, thus leading a mass amount of people to follow them. The stronger party doesn’t always win the war, it’s the party who has more dedicated soldiers.

So who has sold over 100 million copies of their books? Someone who has had their literature translated into thirty-seven languages? A person who was ranked at number 49 on Time Magazine’s top 100 most influential people, and number 26 of Forbes 100 most powerful celebrities, and has an annual earning of over 50 million dollars?

Yes, that’s right. Twilight franchise creator Stephenie Meyer.

Now, unlike Lauren Conrad, Meyer went to college and got a BA in English. So she works in the same field as what she went to school for! That just doesn’t happen. This may give us a little idea that Meyer may in fact have superpowers, AKA physic. She can see into the future people! How else could Twilight be the first piece of writing she ever pursued! She never even tried to write a short story before she had a spooky dream about vampires and werewolves. Yes, you heard me right. She had a dream and woke up thinking it would be an idea worth spawning four books and a spin-off novella, as well as a graphic novel and five films. And a goddamn legion of fans! I don’t have a doubt in my mind that Meyer can see into the future. She has powers and this makes her a highly evolved being!

She is married and has three kids with her husband of sixteen years. She said she didn’t have many aspirations in life until she gave birth to her first son. She just wanted to be a mom at that point. Until she realized that she could make over 50 million dollars with a genre. Even her husband, the auditor, decided to quit his job so he could be a househusband. That girl needs to write, guy. You did the right thing!

Meyer is also an active member of the Church of Jesus Christ and the Latter Day Saints. Many celebs (celebrities) would be wary of disclosing this bit of information in fear of losing fans, but again, Meyer can see into the future so she decided it would be safe to share her religious beliefs. And this also explains why the movies decide to cut away from any overt violence and sex. Although, I did hear a dirty rumor that Edward Cullen bangs Bella so hard that the bed breaks? I don’t really know where that fits in, but I’m sure Meyer knows what she’s doing.

So Meyer is a woman who came in and revived, yes revived, a dead genre. No one cared about vampires until this girl came around and told us that vampires are something worth looking at. I thank you, Mrs. Meyer. And beyond that, she had made millions upon millions of dollars doing it. Does any author actually make a million dollars? She has exceeded her own expectations and proved that being highly evolved pays off!

Now, a word from wisdom from our Natural Selection:

“I like the night. Without the dark we’d never see the stars.”

Yes, and without the sun we’d never see vampires sparkle. Thank you Mrs. Meyer. It has been a pleasure.