It’s sad to say, but we live in a world where there are two options for success. On one side you can be talented. This covers the realms of intelligence, wit, competence, natural abilities and the like. We can see examples in Shakespeare, Einstein, Donald Trump and Spielberg. They have taken what God gave them and used these talents to add to the world they inhabit. They were successful because of the talent they were able to hone. On the other side of the spectrum we have beauty. If you have a pretty face and a fantastic smile you’re on your way to the top! It doesn’t matter if you can’t spell colonel, bologna, or triumph. What matters is if you look good in magazines, television and Internet pornography. It’s okay that you don’t have talent because you’re hott. Yes, two T’s hott. Thank you Tyra Banks, Katherine Heigl, Paris Hilton (iffy on the two T’s) and Megan Fox. You’ve shown the world that you don’t need anything but surface value to make a difference.
BUT, someone is showing a new way. She’s creating a new formula. She is telling the youth of America that they can have both, that you don’t have to trade one for the other. Lauren Conrad is fighting the good fight for your nation. She’s letting us know that it’s okay to be super hott as well as a very talented author.
Miss Conrad started her career in reality television. That’s how we know she’s not only naturally beautiful, but also talented! America loves her because she hasn’t been through the entire mechanism of Hollywood, churning out the same kind of role model. She was showing us a new way from the beginning. Her reality show was called Laguna Beach, and not only was it a popular show, but it spawned a spin-off called The Hills. Now, because I’m such an old man I always assumed these two shows were fictional. I had no idea these were real people with real problems. The generation of youth approved of these shows and I applaud them for it. If it wasn’t for their keen eye we wouldn’t have a beautiful, talented writer like Lauren Conrad making the world a better place.
Conrad released a book in 2009 called L.A. Candy. Here is an abridged synopsis from Amazon.com:
Jane is an intern for a famous event planner, [but] things change quickly when a TV producer asks them to be in a new reality series…following their lives as they try to make it in L.A.
OKAY! So we have a girl who moves to Los Angeles to try and make it as an actress or fashion designer or a model or something that someone would inevitably want to be as a just out of high school girl who decides to move to the big city. Of course she’s got to be a hottie because a man wants to follow her around with cameras all day. I haven’t read this novel because it is classified as young adult and I’m much too busy reading the new John Grisham. So I’m not sure how it ends, but I do know that it is the first installment of a trilogy. The second book came out in February of 2010. I’m betting the series ends with the main character writing a trilogy about her experiences.
Now I know what you’re thinking. How could a beautiful young 23 old girl be so talented? She learns from her experiences! She puts all the pain and joy into her writing like any sort of good author would attempt to do. She did move to L.A.! She did want to be a fashion designer! She did get followed around all day by cameras! But she knows how to put a fictional spin on her writing! I won’t let you guys go without a little excerpt from her novel.
The first page from L.A. Candy:
Jane Roberts leaned against her dresser, studying the way her white silk nightie looked against her sun-kissed skin. Her loose blond curls cascaded softly over her shoulders as she pretended not to be interested in the guy in her bed.
“Come over here—or am I going to have to come and get you?”
Jane smiled mischievously at the ground, then raised her face to him, starring into his chocolate brown eyes.
She slinked back to the bed, slid onto the white silk sheets, and nestled next to him.
“Janie, you’re the most amazing girl I’ve ever met. I’m so in love with you, it’s crazy,” he said, gazing into her eyes.
“Really, Caleb?” She smiled, and reached for him…
…and woke up to find herself lying next to some strange, sweaty guy. Some strange, sweaty, half-naked guy. He smelled like bad cologne and armpits and pot.
Welp, I’m sold. I need to go pick this up today. See, I sort of figured it was a dream sequence when everything this girl owned was “white silk,” but I couldn’t be sure. I know how girls like their nighties to match their sheets. It kept me on the edge of my seat. Suspense! And don’t you hate it when you’re having a hott dream about a hott guy and when you wake it up he turns out to be so normal? That is the WORST. I feel that I could really relate to this piece of literature. Lauren Conrad has an amazing insight into the world we live. Thank you Ms. Conrad. She is naturally selected on earth to bring insight, she has survived because like I.C.P., she is aware of the world around her. She can predict bad things because of her vast understanding of L.A. and the subcultures it holds.
Now for some words of wisdom from Lauren Conrad:
There's a difference between good people who do bad things and bad people who do bad things.
I could not have said that better myself.
In other news, Roman Polanski’s 2010 film The Ghost Writer will be on shelves this June.
I always KNEW I should have been paying more attention to L.C.'s words of wisdom!
ReplyDeletewasn't she like, stop me if i'm wrong, but the antagonist in laguna beach? didn't everybody loathe her? regardless, well done, because i'm angry either way.
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